Guilty As Charged

This joke is rated PG-13 so viewer dis­cre­tion is advised…

 Guilty As Charged

Defense Attor­ney: Will you please state your age

Lit­tle Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attor­ney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what hap­pened the night of April 1^st?

Lit­tle Old Lady: There I was, sit­ting there, in my swing, on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creep­ing up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attor­ney: Did you know him?

Lit­tle Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attor­ney: What hap­pened after he sat down?

Lit­tle Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attor­ney: Did you stop him?

Lit­tle Old Lady: No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attor­ney: Why not?

Lit­tle Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Bob died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attor­ney: What hap­pened next?

Lit­tle Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attor­ney: Did you stop him then?

Lit­tle Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attor­ney: Why not?

Lit­tle Old Lady: His rub­bing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that in years!

Defense Attor­ney: What hap­pened next?

Lit­tle Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feel­ing really “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “take me young man, take me!”

Defense Attor­ney: Did he take you?

Lit­tle Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled “April Fool!” and that’s when I shot him.

Have a won­der­ful Memo­r­ial Day Week­end! Drive safely to wher­ever it is your going.