Does it matter to you if the hero or heroine ever say I love you? In Iris Johansen’s REAP THE WIND, the hero never once utters the words but there is no mistaking that he does. But then I understood why he didn’t. He’d just suffered major loss and didn’t want to be hurt again.
REAP THE WIND (the original version and not the rewritten version) was a fabulous book, btw and I don’t think that it took anything away from the relationship that he didn’t say the L word. His actions spoke more than any words ever could have done. So, what say you? As a reader, must the hero whisper the words “I love you” for completion or is the phrase highly overrated? And not the tacked on kind where the hero/heroine say I love you and you’re left trying to figure when that actually happened.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, I do find it difficult to believe “I love you” when the romance has lasted three or four days. That’s when the happy for now type of ending kicks in where they agree to date and meet each other for dinner. Thanks for the feedback.
My opinion on this might be biased for two reasons. 1. I think the L-word is tossed around far too much. I take it very seriously. I once even broke up with a boy because he said he loved me when we’d been together for a week. 2. Most of the romances that I read are paranormals where the bulk of the book generally takes place over the course of a week or two.
I don’t hate when those three words come up, but sometimes I have to suspend a little disbelief (I apparently have no trouble with vampires and werewolves, but love in a week?). And I generally only want it at the very end. Otherwise, it generally feels out of place for me. I have no problem with love, but I take it very seriously. And in some books, it seems like the characters only ever say it so that the reader will know for absolute certain. As much as readers need to know things sometimes, it seems to me that if that’s the only way they’ll know for sure, maybe your characters aren’t as in love as you thought.
Yeah but aren’t many of her heroes assassins? I mean come on now, these guys are a bit rough around the edges, LOL. And YES, I’d have to agree, if they said ‘I love you’ then you can take it to the bank.
Great topic. I have to say that as I get older it’s not as required but after reading what you said about Ghost I have to agree. If neither person says I love you then it’s open but if one tells the other and the response is something other than I love you too then I’m wondering what the problem is.
I think with Ghost and ‘ditto’ it felt insincere. I guess if I told someone I loved them and they said ‘back at ya’ I’d be thinking they weren’t serious.
Still for me, I do like to hear the words. I also notice if only one character says it and since my memory is not great that obviously says something about me.
All this and Anne Stuart is my favourite author and getting any of her characters to say ‘I love you’ is like pulling teeth. But when they do, the book becomes a real keeper.
Cindys
You know I am a bit conflicted because I remembered the movie Ghost (which was mentioned as well in the blog post by Jane) and always Patrick Swayze’s character would say “Ditto” whenever Demi Moore would tell him she loved him. I didn’t like it at all. I wanted to hear him say the words. But every romance is different and so I say let the characters decide if the L-word need to be said or not. But no, I don’t find it necessary if the author has done her job in showing me that they love each other.
Okay, I just have to argue the other side. (SarahT will confirm the depressing truth — I’m a lawyer.)
I am all for the actions that speak louder than words, but who said you have to have either/or? So what I’m thinking, if I’m in the heroine’s shoes, is why isn’t he saying it? If he’s afraid to get hurt, then he’s conflicted. My happy endings include the resolution of conflicts. He has to decide that the risk of losing her is not worth protecting himself from hurt. And any man who has decided he doesn’t have to say “I love you” to a woman he wants a permanent relationship with is either arrogant or stupid.
So — he doesn’t have to say it to show it. He has to say it because it’s true, he’s willing to commit, he wants her to hear it as well as see/feel it, and the silence is deafening. It’s the generous & loving thing to do.
I loved Reap the Wind! It was one of the first books I read by Iris Johansen and got me hooked on her books.
I personally think that showing is way more important than the words themselves. If the actions are obvious then the use of the L word is just icing on the cake.
I have read many books where the use of the three words is at the very end of the story so by that time you already know how the hero/heroine feel and if you don’t, adding it at the end will not make a bit of difference.
I’m sure more readers feel the same way…thanks for the feedback. Interesting.
In the end, no matter how amazing the author has been in showing me the H/h’s love, I need to hear the words. Emotions IRL are confusing. There has to be a verbal and action oriented claim.
Great blog!
Hey thanks! I would have added the aspect of show versus tell because for me I prefer the former. REAP THE WIND is just one of those books that has stayed with me for years. I love that book, loved the hero in that book if you can find the *original* version of the book before the author butchered it in a rewrite.
I agree with the other commenters here — truth in action.
I really liked this post. I think it brought up a great question. I’m with SarahT “The only thing you can really rely on is what a person does, not says.” I like it when authors have the hero grinning (or something like that) at the heroine when she’s just being herself. It doesn’t matter if she’s annoyed, elated, or angry. The hero digs her for being her. I love it when an author shows that. The words “I love you” are nice too but not the end all and be all.
thanks guys, you are the best, for entertaining my simplistic topic today! I actually had more to say but I forgot I had this already scheduled to go live. Lesson learned. Hope you all have a Happy Fourth!
As I’ve learned from real life experience, words mean nothing. The only thing you can really rely on is what a person does, not says. So, no, I wouldn’t care if a romance hero never said: “I love you” to the heroine, as long as he showed her how much he cared.
In a word, “no.” He doesn’t have to say it for me to believe it if the author has done her job well. As you said about the book “Reap the Wind,“