Debra C: My opin­ion on this might be biased for two rea­sons. 1. I think the L-word is tossed around far too much. I take it very seri­ously. I once even broke up with a boy because he said he loved me when we’d been together for a week. 2. Most of the romances that I read are para­nor­mals where the bulk of the book gen­er­ally takes place over the course of a week or two.

Yes, I do find it difficult to believe “I love you” when the romance has lasted three or four days. That’s when the happy for now type of ending kicks in where they agree to date and meet each other for dinner. Thanks for the feedback.

I don’t hate when those three words come up, but sometimes I have to suspend a little disbelief (I apparently have no trouble with vampires and werewolves, but love in a week?). And I generally only want it at the very end. Otherwise, it generally feels out of place for me. I have no problem with love, but I take it very seriously. And in some books, it seems like the characters only ever say it so that the reader will know for absolute certain. As much as readers need to know things sometimes, it seems to me that if that’s the only way they’ll know for sure, maybe your characters aren’t as in love as you thought.

CindyS: Anne Stuart is my favourite author and get­ting any of her char­ac­ters to say ‘I love you’ is like pulling teeth. But when they do, the book becomes a real keeper.

Yeah but aren’t many of her heroes assassins? I mean come on now, these guys are a bit rough around the edges, LOL. And YES, I’d have to agree, if they said ‘I love you’ then you can take it to the bank.

I think with Ghost and ‘ditto’ it felt insincere. I guess if I told someone I loved them and they said ‘back at ya’ I’d be thinking they weren’t serious.

Still for me, I do like to hear the words. I also notice if only one character says it and since my memory is not great that obviously says something about me.

All this and Anne Stuart is my favourite author and getting any of her characters to say ‘I love you’ is like pulling teeth. But when they do, the book becomes a real keeper.

Cindys

Magdalen: Okay, I just have to argue the other side. (SarahT will con­firm the depress­ing truth — I’m a lawyer.)
I am all for the actions that speak louder than words, but who said you have to have either/or? So what I’m think­ing, if I’m in the heroine’s shoes, is why isn’t he saying it? If he’s afraid to get hurt, then he’s con­flicted. My happy end­ings include the res­o­lu­tion of con­flicts. He has to decide that the risk of losing her is not worth pro­tect­ing him­self from hurt. And any man who has decided he doesn’t have to say “I love you” to a woman he wants a per­ma­nent rela­tion­ship with is either arro­gant or stupid.
So — he doesn’t have to say it to show it. He has to say it because it’s true, he’s will­ing to commit, he wants her to hear it as well as see/feel it, and the silence is deaf­en­ing. It’s the gen­er­ous & loving thing to do.

You know I am a bit conflicted because I remembered the movie Ghost (which was mentioned as well in the blog post by Jane) and always Patrick Swayze’s character would say “Ditto” whenever Demi Moore would tell him she loved him. I didn’t like it at all. I wanted to hear him say the words. But every romance is different and so I say let the characters decide if the L-word need to be said or not. But no, I don’t find it necessary if the author has done her job in showing me that they love each other.

I am all for the actions that speak louder than words, but who said you have to have either/or? So what I’m thinking, if I’m in the heroine’s shoes, is why isn’t he saying it? If he’s afraid to get hurt, then he’s conflicted. My happy endings include the resolution of conflicts. He has to decide that the risk of losing her is not worth protecting himself from hurt. And any man who has decided he doesn’t have to say “I love you” to a woman he wants a permanent relationship with is either arrogant or stupid.

So — he doesn’t have to say it to show it. He has to say it because it’s true, he’s willing to commit, he wants her to hear it as well as see/feel it, and the silence is deafening. It’s the generous & loving thing to do.

I personally think that showing is way more important than the words themselves. If the actions are obvious then the use of the L word is just icing on the cake.

I have read many books where the use of the three words is at the very end of the story so by that time you already know how the hero/heroine feel and if you don’t, adding it at the end will not make a bit of difference.

kellykrysten: In the end, no matter how amaz­ing the author has been in show­ing me the H/h’s love, I need to hear the words. Emo­tions IRL are con­fus­ing. There has to be a verbal and action ori­ented claim

I’m sure more readers feel the same way…thanks for the feedback. Interesting.

Mary-Frances Makichen: I really liked this post. I think it brought up a great ques­tion.

Hey thanks! I would have added the aspect of show versus tell because for me I prefer the former. REAP THE WIND is just one of those books that has stayed with me for years. I love that book, loved the hero in that book if you can find the *original* version of the book before the author butchered it in a rewrite.

his actions spoke more than any words ever could have done.